A Journey to Health

Well, I've once again found myself in a place where I need to lose weight.  I gained lots of baby weight with Calvin (55 pounds!) and gave myself a year before worrying about it.  That year went by in a flash and I found myself thinking about a game plan.  Unfortunately, I was experiencing a variety of health issues that were holding me back.

 I spent Cal's entire first year trying to figure out why I was so exhausted.  And this was not your run-of-the-mill busy mom exhaustion.  This was exhaustion beyond anything I had ever experienced and I battled it daily.  My brain was so fuzzy, foggy and tired that I couldn't recall names of people I interacted with at work, forgot simple things that were part of my routine like putting in contacts or applying mascara, and I often came dangerously close to falling asleep at the wheel even if my drive was only 15 minutes. It was scary.  I barely pulled myself through my workday, only to come home and fall asleep on the couch until my better half got home.  I prayed that nothing would happen to the kids while I fell asleep between when we got home and my husband got home.  I physically could not keep my eyes open. I told myself it would get better when Cal started sleeping through the night, but it didn't.

On top of the complete and utter exhaustion, I was constantly cold and my joints and muscles ached. Sometimes it was so painful to get up and walk around that I would literally crawl around the house instead of walking.  This was especially true of stairs.  I was also dealing with terrible digestive issues and intermittent stabbing stomach pains.  My hair began to fall out in handfuls and my skin itched to the point where it felt like bugs were crawling all over my body. My face became puffy and the dark circles under my eyes made me look like I had aged 10 years.  I couldn't believe how much older I looked and felt.

 Dealing with all of these symptoms really put me in a funk. I became very sensitive and easily overwhelmed. My anxiety sky rocketed and I couldn't sleep at night due to heart palpitations and nightmares. The tiniest thing would set me off into a rage of yelling and screaming.  I felt like I had lost any sense of self to whatever illness had taken over my body and my personality.  Most days I had hope that I would get better but some days were very bleak.  I was not a fun person to be around so I started avoiding friends and family gatherings. Frankly, living in constant  pain is really depressing.

Fast forward to Cal's 2nd birthday.  Another year had gone by. At this point after Weston's pregnancy, I had lost all the baby weight and was feeling like a healthy, capable mom.  So what was wrong with me this time? Despite having a small appetite, I was continuing to gain weight at a rate of about one pound per month.  I attributed this to my lack of exercise and pure exhaustion. My digestive symptoms were getting worse and worse to the point where I could barely work because I was in so much pain. I had a horrible bout of kidney stones and frequent gallbladder attacks. I think I visited the ER/urgent care 5 times this year and had also been through two CT scans, a colonoscopy and an endoscopy.  Things were going downhill. At one point, I actually researched how to qualify for disability.

It was my husband who stumbled upon a website linking gall bladder attacks and digestive issues to thyroid function.   We read the list of symptoms for an under active thyroid.  I had every symptom on the list.  Seriously. Every. Single. One. Why had none of my doctors thought to test this?

We scheduled an appointment with a doctor of osteopathy.  I brought my notepad of symptoms and she listened intently. She agreed that it sounded like a thyroid issue and took it one step further by suggesting an auto-immune disease that causes thyroid problems.  I was off to the lab for tests and feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time.  When the lab results came back I finally had some concrete answers.  My TSH was sky-high. I also tested positive for the antibody that indicates Hashimoto's disease.  I didn't understand what all this meant at the time, but I felt like we had found the problem and could begin to turn things around.

I was put on a thyroid hormone replacement and sent home. Adjusting to the medication was interesting.  I actually felt worse instead of better for a couple of weeks. It took several blood tests to get the dosage right but once we hit the right dose, I began to feel better.  The utter exhaustion began to feel like the normal tiredness I should be experiencing with my busy lifestyle.  I started thinking more clearly.  The fog lifted and I could remember names and drive without falling asleep. I could stand and do the dishes after cooking a meal rather than sitting on the couch all evening.  The aches in my joints and muscles seemed were reduced by about 50%.  My hair stopped falling out.  I smiled once in awhile. My doctor had suggested a dairy and gluten free diet so I implemented the gluten free diet and that helped reduce my digestive issues.

Did I mention that through all of this, I was also going through a job change and dealing with an autism diagnosis for our oldest son?  Talk about a rough year!

I've now been on the medication for a little over a year. I'm grateful my husband stumbled upon that website. I'm thankful he stood my side and believed everything I was experiencing despite doctors not being able to find anything initially. I'm thankful for friends who made me feel loved and desired when I felt anything but. While I feel better in almost every way and feel like I am ready to have a life again, I'm left in the aftermath of weight gain that is so common with thyroid patients.  I have continued to gain weight even since my diagnosis a year ago. Part of this is because it is very difficult to lose weight as a person with a thyroid issue and part of it is due to not eating right and not exercising.  I'm FINALLY at a point where I feel I have enough energy to begin exercising again.

I know I have extra challenges in losing weight due to the thyroid issues so I will try not to be discouraged if I don't see the scale dropping quickly.  My focus is really on making small diet and lifestyle changes so I can feel healthy and vibrant again and if weight loss accompanies that, then I'll take it! This blog is to provide a place for me to log my successes and ideas regarding diet and exercise changes that help my body as I continue to heal from the last couple of years.

Here's to emerging from this long winter season of my life and entering into a new found season of health and vitality.

Day 4

Calories: ?  I kind of failed at the bridal shower but I had only eaten 700 calories up to that point so I don't think today was much of a set back.

Water: 50 ish ounces

Exercise: Jillian's Extreme Shed and Shred Workout #1 (LOVE this workout!)

Feeling: Eh. Today's workout was good and the bridal shower was really fun, even though I ate too much.  After not eating much for 3 days, the food tasted SO GOOD. Plus,  I splurged and had a glass of wine.  I guess today was my cheat day for the week.  It's back to 1200 calories tomorrow! Auntie Lora is coming this weekend so I might be able to sneak off to the gym for a really long session or two while she watches him.

Day 3

Calories: 1200-1300
Water: 32 ounces
Exercise: 20 minute walk outside

Feeling: Today was OK.  I was good on calories but drank far too little water. I didn't have a lot of time to work out after work but I did manage to sneak in a fast paced walk which is better than nothing.  I managed to restrain myself  from eating at book club. Success!  After a 10 minute session of picking myself apart in the mirror, I'm feeling like 30 days isn't going to be enough. I guess that's all the more reason to make the most of each day.  Tomorrow's challenge is a bridal shower where there will surely be wine and fattening appetizers. This will also be a time drain, reducing my availability for exercise. I'm going to try to enjoy myself at the shower WITHOUT eating too much and still find a way to sneak in a workout video.

Day 2

Exercise: Speed walk 1.5 miles + 10 minutes core body work. Kinda lame...probably should have worked harder but I was up in the middle of the night with Weston and I am tired today.

Calories: 1600

Water: 60 ounces, 20 of which I had to guzzle down 30 seconds ago just so I could type this sentence! I am determined to win in the water department of this 30 day challenge.

Feeling: A little intimidated and sort of squishy but excited about the prospect of being less squishy.

Take 2-Day 1

It's been about a year since I did my last 30 day shred.  I was very impressed with the results last year so I've decided to give the program another go this year. 

My goals are very similar this second time around. I mostly want to build as much muscle as possible in 30 days and shed 3-5 pounds. Additionally, I'm making it a priority to consume at least 60 ounces of water each day.  I'm terrible when it comes to staying hydrated. I did drink my 60 ounces today and I noticed that I felt a lot less hungry which made it easier to eat a reasonable dinner.

Keeping a blog of my daily routine really helped me last year so I'm going to stick with what works and do the same thing again.


Calories: Roughly 1300
Workout: 20 minute walk + PREVENTION DVD, 15 minute segment for core body
Water: 60 oz
Feeling: Ready to take on this challenge again!